On A Day Like This 11 Years Ago - Adventures With Ellie

On A Day Like This 11 Years Ago

I baked you a cake, but your not here to eat it, but your youngest sister is so ready to do it for you.
I gave for flowers so they can be displayed at mass today. When they say in remembrance of those who have passed your name has been added to the list. Your brother & sister said if they have school mass they will remind whoever is giving mass so they can say Happy Birthday to you.

All the world seems to be a mess and up in a roar. Here I am just trying to get through one more day. Praying for our Lord's grace and guidance. Trust be told my pretty girl I feel lost at times.

11 years ago you came into this world. You took my breathe away. I had never seen such a beautiful little girl. I never knew having a love for a daughter could be so strong. I looked at your brothers and saw your protectors and your daddy how you would have him wrapped around your finger. I imagined when they handed you to me how we would share secrets and giggles and painted nails.

I remember thinking  how I had it all and how life was perfect and I couldn't think of wanting anything else. 
How I loved having you in my arms and being able to stare at you for hours. Oh the pictures I would take. Little did I know that you would be gone in a blink.

Although the sky seems to be shedding as many tears as I want to. I can't. I most strive on for your siblings,for your daddy. I admit I am lost and so I pray and have to do as I have trust in the Lord. You gave me that.

You were and will forever be one of the most amazing gifts from our Lord. As I've said from the moment you were gone.You completed your purpose on earth. You made me open myself to our Lord like I had never had. You showed me in my grief his never ending love is with us.

You gave me a reason to dream of pink,pretty bows and baby dolls.  You had a hand  I'm sure making sure I wouldn't forget and I like to think you nudged our Lord and now here are your two sisters.

I'm not going to lie I will listen to them play and can't help but think what would be the conversation with you three. Then I think would their be 3 of you since when you came to us I thought we are complete and couldn't even imagine breaking "the perfect trio" Funny how things happen huh.

Now here are your siblings your brothers watching over your two sisters and you watching from above.

Usually I'm pretty good on your birthday but just as that day in 2006 you were born on Monday and today is a Monday. I miss you sweet girl oh so much.

I know it's not a why me moment but I should be thankful for the time we had but if you please let mama just grieve for a little bit...

11 years ago Our Lord lend me my Anjelique and let my love grow in my arms for the most amazing 2 1/2 months. I am thankful and wouldn't any other way. Through Grief Love grows. My cross I bare but do not hold alone. Jesus I trust in you. Mother Mary as you cried for your son you have seen and felt this pain and as you did I hope to one day rejoice when if by your son's grace we are reunited again.

All I pray is that today as each day our Lord hold you in his arms but today I hope he holds you a little longer and through him you feel the love your Daddy & I  feel for you, along as your siblings.

I'll Love You Forever
I'll Like You For Always
As Long As I'm Living
My Sweet Beautiful Pretty Girl
You'll Be

Happy Birthday Sweet Anjelique.
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